HI I am 41 and I have a son from a FET in 2005 who is 5. I wanted another child, my husband, who has older kids (18, 22 and 24)from a previous marriage, did not really. We pursued it, and I went through many failed cycles, a miscarriage, etc. We tried again recently in this last January, and I about fell over when I found it was twins. We only put in two blasts, and did PGD for the first time! We changed doctors, and the new doc was a way more attentive. My husband is not happy it is twins. I was in shock for awhile about it, excited and overwhelmed.
He wants me to reduce. I went and saw the reduction doctor who basically gave me all the stats about how a singleton is better and healthier and the complications that can happen with twin pregnancy. She gave me all the info about premies and the problems.

I realized though, my health (knock wood) is good, I am tall, 5'8, and I don't feel a need to reduce unless (this is my personal feeling at this time) my life is endangered, or the babies are, or something is really wrong. I have searched high and low in my heart for this answer, and I cannot imagine doing SR and feeling good about it. If I was pregnant with trips, quads, I will still hate to do it, but it wouldbe more understandable to me. At times, the idea of twins can be overwhelming, since i Have a son, I know what the baby stage is like. I told the doctor thank you for all the info. SHe offered to do my NT scan, and I really did not want her to do it. But my husband thought she was such a great doctor, I went back and did it to appease him. She got the measurements incorrectly, had to go back for the second time and do it again. Then she submitted my age 41 instead the frozen embryos' age, which was from myself at 39.
It gave me the chance 1/110 for Down's, which totally freaked me out. (1/100 is a postiive screen in CA). WE realized her mistake, called her, and she called me back with new numbers. so now it is 1/230, for Down's, 1 in 8000 for Edwards. I feel like she botched my whole NT scan. You can only have one NT scan in California cause the state does lab prental testing. That's whole another story..

I talked to my OB about it. He told me to get the quad screen at 15 weeks and to go to a different peri for the 4D u/s ( I am going to the peri I had with my son). If anything comes up on the quad, I will do amnio. So far, the babies (knock wood) look great and healthy.

My husband though, has LOST HIS MIND. He is telling me he will leave me if I won't reduce. We did have a conversation pre-transfer, and I did say if this happenned, I probably would reduce, but couldnot promise. When I found out what was involved, it made me cringe. He told me to move in with my sister, has said nasty things to me. It's not like we can't afford it. It is out of his age, selfishness and fear, he doesn't want to deal with TWO more kids. I have looked in my heart, and thought, what's worse, my husband leaving me, or my reducing down to one fetus because he wants it. I just don't feel good about it. I said to a friend today, he is going to hate me for the rest of my life, and she said,"Is it better than you hating yourself for the rest of your life?" It gave me food for thought.

I feel so lucky and blessed to be pregnant. I totally respect everyone's own decision, and it is SOO SOO personal. I just wonder if anyone else here has been in this situtation.
My son is SOOOO excited to be a big brother. It is the sweetest thing. I am 13 weeks and 3 days, and I guess the SR is suppose to be up to 14 weeks. I think this is why my husband is not being kind to me. My best friend said she can't believe anyone would be treating a pregnant woman like this.

I need feedback.

I am suppose to take my motherinlaw out to lunch Thursday, but I think I need to cancel. She is one of those moms, that no matter what, thinks her son is right. I can't find anything nice to say right now.

Thanks for listening...