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Thursday, January 30, 2014

Teachers Chosen At Start of School Year

Something strange happened today during day two of year 1 for my daughter.

Classes and teachers and classrooms were chosen for each of the year 1 students.

But that's not the strange part.

Mums... huddled. And complained. And talked about why THAT teacher was not the best for THEIR child.

I was a little... shocked.

Is this a 'thing'?

Now, granted, I am new to the whole schooling thing. I am into my second year of this with my twins.

But I kinda think that trusting the system, trusting the teachers who have (I would think) met together and discussed each child and where they are best suited, and with which teacher, is the way to go. To embrace what's chosen for your child.

And, here's the bonus... accepting what you have is stress-free!

There's nothing else to 'get', nothing to figure out.

Your child will be fine. You child will excel. Your child will prosper in that class.

As some mums gathered and discussed, I was left without many words. But I did have these to say:

Trust the universe. 

I will say that having a child with special needs changes your mindset on things, especially education, and just how much you can control.

My credo since my son was diagnosed with autism at age 2 is: relinquish control.

My son's school is not the school I chose for him. The Department of Education did, and initially, I was not happy.

It wasn't the school closest to me, it wasn't the school I'd visited a few times, it wasn't the school I had in my head, all pictured 'perfectly'.

Dept of Ed chose THIS school, and after I burst into tears when I read the letter that he was offered a place there (yes, I did - as it was not what I hoped, and while my journey with autism was a few years in, my experience of autism and school was non-existent) my husband assured me to just go with it. Trust it all. It will all work out the way it is meant to.

He was right. This school has ended up being the biggest blessing; the most wonderful mainstream school for my daughter, and the best mainstream school - with an autism support unit - for my son.

I think the 'best teacher' may just well be the very one your child has.

What is your experience of the new year of starting school?

Are you happy with it all? Have you spoken up about making changes? Are do you just let things go as they are and trust it will all work out?

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

'8 Guaranteed Ways to Emotionally F*ck Up Your Kids'

I mean, how can you NOT read a story with a header like this?
This story appeared in the Huffington Post, and is worth a read in full.
Written by Sherrie Campbell, PhD (follow her on Twitter hereit starts:
Our children are the lights of our lives. We all start off as parents envisioning nothing but success, love and happiness for them. However, these dreams often do not manifest because they are not getting the important things they need to become disciplined, mature and motivated adults. The following are eight parenting f*ck-ups that will guarantee your child will suffer from depression, anxiety, anger, tense family relationships, problems with friends, low self-esteem, a sense of entitlement and chronic emotional problems throughout his or her life.
1. Ignore or minimize your child's feelings. If your child is expressing sadness, anger or fear and you mock them, humiliate them, ignore or tease them you minimize what they feel. You essentially tell them what they feel is wrong. When parents do this they withhold love from their child and miss opportunities to have open and vulnerable connections teaching them to bond and to know they are loved unconditionally.
2. Inconsistent rules. If you never talk about your expectations, you keep your child from knowing how to behave appropriately. Children live up or down to what you expect. Rules give them guidelines and boundaries to help them define who they are, good and bad. If you keep your child guessing and life is vague, they will begin to act out to find the boundaries themselves, which leads to low self-esteem and problem behavior.
3. Make your child your friend. Never share all your worries, concerns and relationship problems with your child or ask their advice. If you act helpless and defeated to your children they will never learn to respect you and will treat you as an equal or an inferior because you have used them for your own therapy. You must show your children you can stand up to problems, face your challenges and handle life through all the stress and come out on the other side. Be real, have your emotions, but do not burden your children.
4. Put down your child's other parent. If you never show affection and love to your partner/spouse in front of your child, the child does not develop a barometer for what love is or what it looks like. If you are always putting your spouse down and rejecting him/her, threatening divorce, you create a chronic state of anxiety for your child. If you are already divorced and you remain cold, distant, bitter, angry and blaming of your ex-spouse, you are sending the subtle message to your child that your ex-spouse is the cause of the divorce and you need to be the preferred parent. This is parent alienation.
Read the rest here.
Thoughts so far?

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Confused girl meets her father's twin for first time: VIDEO

This is gold.

Wait, there's two of you!

That's what the toddler is thinking in this clip, where she meets her uncle - an identical twin to her dad - for the first time: