Telstra 'Cyber Safety – Balancing Screen Time' Survey

Telstra has released a survey just this week called 'Cyber Safety – Balancing Screen Time' and here is what they say about the topic:

As a parent, it may be difficult to know where to start when it comes to instilling family values in relation to children’s online activity. How much time online is too much? How can you set reasonable limits? And more to the point, how can you enforce them?

The release of our Cyber Safety – Balancing Screen Time survey this week is a timely reminder about the important role parents have in setting a positive digital media example for their children.

‘Balancing screen time’ means being aware of how to balance time spent online with all of life’s other activities such as getting enough sleep, exercise, school work, hobbies, face-to-face time with friends and family, and other important tasks.

The survey asked more than 1000 Australian parents of children aged 3-17 about their own use and their children’s use of devices. In a unique aspect, the Survey also asked more than 500 Australian children aged 12-17 about their own use and perceptions of their parents’ use of devices.

Surprisingly, or maybe it’s not surprising to some, 65 per cent of parents surveyed do not think they’re good technology role models. The survey also revealed that 50 per cent of children say their parents are good technology role models. So while kids have a more positive view of their parents than their parents have of themselves, 10% of kids still believe their parents spend too much time on their devices.

The correlation between parents’ and children’s online behaviours is demonstrated in some further statistics from the survey include:

• 66 per cent of parents admit to using devices in front of the television; compared to 71 per cent of children;
• 50 per cent of parents ‘second screen’ between 7pm-9pm during school nights; compared to 41 per cent of children; and
• 15 per cent of parents use devices during meal times compared to 19 per cent of children.

Maybe it’s a case of do as I say, rather than do as I do, but with millions of Aussie kids about to return to school, we’re encouraging parents to be mindful of the example they set and talk to children about ways they can balance their digital lives.

Here are just some of the ways you can help balance your children’s screen time.

Agree limits

Talk to your children about the amount of digital time they’re living and then, based on what you agree is a healthy balance, set ‘switched off’ times of day. Help your children create a media use roster allocating blocks of time for homework, chores and their screen time.

Be an offline supporter

Support and encourage your kids in activities that don’t involve a digital device. A ball game or reading a book are all great ways to show kids how they can enjoy themselves without a mobile, tablet or computer.

Set family rules

Make sure you’re seen as a positive example. Do you want the dinner table to be a device-free zone? If so, then have everyone (including Mum and Dad) turn off their mobile phones and devices during dinner, or when taking part in family activities. Children are happier following rules if everyone in the family plays by them.

Turn off devices before bedtime

Lack of sleep can affect alertness, concentration and memory. For a better night’s sleep try encouraging children to switch off at least one hour before bedtime. Create a charging station and charge all household devices in the one spot overnight.

Make the most of parental controls

Many parental controls tools allow you to set time-of-day restrictions on children’s device usage. We recommend Telstra Smart Controls® for mobile devices and Telstra Online Security for your home network.

Consider the difference between types of screen time

Not all screen time is created equal. Think about the differences between using a device for homework or creative expression versus using it for passive entertainment.

What do YOU think about the findings?

'Stay-at-home mums are not as happy as working mums'. This mum disagrees.

Stay-at-home mothers are not as happy as mothers who are employed, a new study has showed.


Research company Gallup found that non-employed mothers in the US experience more negative emotions such as worry, sadness, stress, anger and depression, than those who work.


The research, which looked at 60,799 randomly-chosen women, showed that 41 per cent of stay-at-home mothers experience worry while just 34 per cent of employed mothers experience the same feeling.

To read more, go here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2148101/How-mothers-stay-home-LESS-happy-work--likely-depressed.html#ixzz1vexo5boW

You might think, oh, here we go: another survey. A bunch of stats. Each case is different; heck each day is different.

I always like to read a real life story. Here is one written for this blog by Ruth, about her experiences with almost one year old daughter, Maddie:

"I recently made the decision not to go back to work in the short-term. I know how lucky I am to have this as an option, but I wasn’t prepared for it to feel like a weird thing to be doing. 

As a child of the 70s, having our mum take care of us was then far from unusual. Mum did some casual marking of exam papers in the evenings and at weekends to bring in some extra money but apart from that she was around until I, as the second child, was at school. 

Notice I don’t say she was “at home”. That’s because the phrase “stay at home mum” is a pet hate of mine. Who coined that term anyway? Someone completely ignorant of the role mums play in getting their kids out and about and exploring the big wide world. Sure there’s some home time, quite a lot of it, but all the mums I know relish the chance for an outing. Even a supermarket trip can become strangely thrilling, but the reality is we don’t just stay at home. Someone find another term, please.

As a full-time mum, I love every day with my daughter. Don’t get me wrong though, it takes every ounce of my creativity to avoid ground-hog day.

I grew up hearing my mum talk about the outings we used to do with her as young kids – trips to the zoo, feeding the ducks and taking a whole day to walk around the local lake in the days before it had a proper path for the hordes of joggers who conquer it in 20 minutes now. 

We’d stop to look at every leaf and stick that took our interest and picnic along the way. These were idyllic, blissful days. I don’t remember having to rush here, there and everywhere or the controlled action-packed activities that cost you an arm and a leg that seem to be par for the course now.

Mum as a working mum had a big impact on me. I think I got a lot of my work ethic from her. She was always passionate about her work and she and Dad would talk animatedly about their respective days over dinner. I also loved watching her getting ready in the mornings, putting on make-up and smelling of perfume. She had a shiny new work car – a Datsun 180B – and when I had a day off from school I’d sometimes get to come into the city and have a smoothie with her at the café next to her office. But she was passionate about “work” at home too. She seemed to take copious loads of washing in her stride and was always a 'MasterChef' in the kitchen.

I hope I can instil this passion for work in all shapes and forms in my daughter. I miss work, but I don’t miss a lot about it – the commuting, the endless meetings and emails. Meeting a work mate for lunch in the city I realise I’ve forgotten the terrier-like approach you need to get through Pitt Street Mall [Sydney] at lunch time unscathed. And did I really use to see these bustling food halls as sanctuaries? Why is everyone in SUCH a hurry?  It was great to hear all about my former work place, but it felt strange to be disengaged from people and projects that I used to be so intertwined with.

I wasn’t prepared for the lack of conversation with like-minded others in this new life of mine.  I haven’t really found my niche at Mothers’ Group. Everyone is 10 years younger.  I didn’t think it would matter but it does. Their priorities are so different. [Not to mention Alex Papps is on Play School but they can’t remember him in Home & Away let alone The Factory so where’s the common ground?]

I wasn’t prepared for the mind blanks that seem to come with motherhood. As someone who would pride herself on being something of a wordsmith, having complete blackouts on words mid-conversation has taken some getting used to. But hey, it makes other people feel good when they can finish your sentences.

And I wasn’t prepared for the sense of dislocation and isolation. It seems strange to call it that when simultaneously I have this incredible bond with a precious little person who makes me laugh and smile 7 days a week from 5.45am to 7pm and she is usually attached to my arm or leg at most times during the day. But I find myself sometimes asking: where exactly do I fit in? 

I’m not interested in making washing and ironing an art form. I’m enjoying finding pleasure in the simple things and the new creative challenges I find myself up against, but 'domestic goddess' is not something I aspire to. And I can’t possibly be as passionate about the work I used to do now that I’m out of the loop.

So… where do I fit in? I’m not sure, but I’ve come to the conclusion that finding a label isn’t necessary. My daughter is happy, my husband is happy, and most importantly, I’m happy. 

Where motherhood will take me I do not know. Maybe even eventually back to work. But right now, I’m happy as a pig in mud living day to day, or sleep to sleep."

What are your experiences of staying at home, or going back to work. If the latter, how old was bub/s? Or you do work from home? Share comments on blog - would love to hear other women's stories!

To smack or not to smack? A psychologist weighs in.

Did you watch the '60 Minutes' Australia report on smacking?

It has been the buzz since Sunday and it certainly made for uncomfortable viewing.

Here is the entire story video clip:http://sixtyminutes.ninemsn.com.au/stories/8465814/the-smack

And here is the first part of the 60 Minutes story transcript:

MICHAEL USHER: To smack or not to smack? It's an issue that goes to the heart of parenting and there doesn't seem to be middle ground. You either believe that smacking is good, old-fashioned discipline or you consider it a form of child abuse. Dozens have banned it. Now there is a big push to do this here – that's despite the fact most Australians think an occasional slap is okay. Still, very few will admit to it, let alone smack their kids publicly – like one mother you are about to meet.

ANN: Look at me, I'm not joking. This is not funny, OK? Not funny at all. Do you understand?

MICHAEL USHER: Mother of four, Ann Shepherd, is dishing out what she calls “tough love”. She smacks her children when they are not behaving. Usually a short, sharp whack to the back side.

ANN: A slap can go straight to the point very quickly and it can get very quick results – for me, anyway.

MICHAEL USHER: Ann hasn't been caught out on camera, more embarrassed to admitting she smacks – in fact, the opposite. She's an advocate of smacking and allowed us to capture these very real, if not confronting, moments on cameras installed in her home.

ANN: That's for you. Smack for you.

MICHAEL USHER: Watching some of the vision of old-fashioned discipline for all her children. How do you feel when you smack them?

ANN: I don't feel guilty about doing it but I'm a human being. I'm a mother above all, and yeah, it does affect me. However, I know that in the long run I'm doing the right thing, because it will help them to become better adults, really.

For more, see: http://sixtyminutes.ninemsn.com.au/stories/8465814/the-smack

I interviewed Lyn Worsley, psychologist at The Resilience Centre [see: http://www.theresiliencecentre.com.au] on the topic.

"We really need to learn methods that help children to self-discipline, and if your only form of discipline is to smack and shock them, then basically you’re what you're doing is a very behaviour-centric response to discipline.

"It’s like you’re giving dogs an electric shock when they don’t go through the right door.

"And really, in terms of raising children, what we need to do is look at how to help children to have a sense of their own self-discipline or self-awareness.

"So, raising children isn’t about managing them so they behave; it’s about giving them the tools so they know how to behave at the right time and place.

Adds Lyn: "If you use smacking in the context of, say, stopping a child from running out onto the road in front of traffic, that’s often a shock response to stop them from doing that, and sometimes I think that’s called for. But it shouldn’t be what you use as your main method of discipline.

"A child learning self-discipline needs to someone to talk to them very sternly when they’re misbehaving; they need to know that when they see mum or dad get angry, then the behaviour they are doing is wrong, that it’s socially unacceptable, and the only way to tell them that is by disciplining them. 

"When you smack them, then you’re not really teaching them discipline; you’re teaching them ‘you can express anger by hitting, and this is how I’m expressing anger at you.'"

So, do kids learn to 'respect' their parents because they get smacked, or do they grow up resenting them?

"I actually think that children know the context of their smacks. So, they know when they’re being smacked because they've done something wrong, like the traffic situation, and they know when their parents have lost control of the situation, too. Children know when their parent has hit them in a way that is to enable them to remain safe."

So, what of the argument people use "look, I was smacked as a child and there’s nothing wrong with me so therefore I will smack my children"?

Says Lyn, "What’s happened here is that they don’t have memories of it being abuse; they don’t have memories of it being a power imbalance.

"And certainly, you can smack a child without that power imbalance, but it’s less and less acceptable these days, so you don’t see it in our white western society without it being coupled with anger.

"The big problem is, if you start saying to people, you’re not allowed to smack, but you don’t replace that with another behaviour they can do to discipline the child, then you end up with children that are out of control.

"That don’t have any restraints put around them… they need to have boundaries where they know, 'oh, I can't go there or do that, or I’ll be in trouble.'

"A parent needs to have a means where they can say, 'I am the parent, I am I control of you, I am in charge of you, but I'm not going to use this power over you in order to discipline you. I'm going to make sure I have a sense of control until you're old enough to have control over yourself.'

"Regarding the woman in the 60 Minutes story, she can’t use the argument that smacking works.

"Once you have a child who is living with a sense of fear, you then have a real power imbalance… if we really want to raise children in an ideal world, you’ll raise them in a way that they understand that someone has control over them but not power. It’s a really fine line.

Let's use a real life scenario, one that's likely happened in every home with more than one child: one pushes the other, the other is hurt and comes to you screaming, and you give him a smack on the bottom to help them understand what they did was wrong.

Is that okay?

"I think the child will know the context of why you were giving them a smack. He would know that they did something wrong. But if smacked your child out of anger, then he’ll also know that, and would soon copy that.

"Unless you can guarantee that you can smack without any anger, then that smack should not happen.

"In dog training, when a dog does something wrong, you tap them on the nose and look them in the eye. You don’t do that with anger, you do that for them to learn the 'right way.'

"It’s the same with a child – if a child pulls your hair, often a parent will grab their hand and smack their hand and you say, 'don't do that.'"

What does Lyn think about legislating smacking?

"It has been done in a few other countries, and when they did that there was a bit of an uproar, but at the same time it made people think about the alternative way to teach discipline to their children. And so courses are offered where they can learn different disciplining skills.

"Of course, we have courses here and parents would do well to look into them. If we are going to legislate, we have to give parents an alternative.

You just can’t 'take something away', and not replace it with anything, otherwise you’ll have parents that are so disempowered, they won’t know what to do."

What is your approach to disciplining your children? What works for you?

To contact Lyn Worsley, go here: www.theresiliencecentre.com.au or call (+61 2) 9874 9711 or 9869 0377 (Epping, Sydney).

You can also 'like' the Resilience Centre on Facebook here: https://www.facebook.com/TheResilienceCentre

About Lyn Worsley: Lyn is a Clinical Psychologist with a background in nursing, youth work, early childhood and tertiary education teaching. Lyn has experience working in prisons, hospitals an

into the development of resilience has a refreshing, multidisciplinary approach which has long been missing in past resilience research. Learn more about The Resilience Doughnut here: https://www.facebook.com/ResilienceDoughnut

New mum Aishwarya Rai is 'too fat,' apparently

So, when you pop out a baby, ladies, and you're a model, you'd better get back into shape quick-smart.

Reports the site Jezebel:

"Heaven forbid a woman gestate a humanand not instantaneously return to super-svelte shape! The Indian media have proved themselves every bit as concerntrolly as their US counterparts after commentators went after Bollywood legend Aishwarya Rai — not only for selfishly getting pregnant, but also for having the nerve to not shed pounds immediately following the birth. (Her new baby is a mere six months old.) Causing outrage after getting snapped looking roughly 0.00067% less hot than normal on her way to a party for UN secretary general Ban Ki-Moon, Rai's been likened to an elephant on one website — complete with trumpeting sound effects — resulting in some impassioned commentary. "She is a Bollywood actress and it is her duty to look good and fit," typed one commenter, with another adding: "She needs to learn from people like Victoria Beckham who are back to size zero weeks after their delivery."

Read more here: http://jezebel.com/5911045/concern+trolling-jerks-think-aishwarya-rai-is-too-fat-to-function

This came on the back of a report in SMH, which says:

"Aishwarya Rai is no stranger to Cannes.

The Bollywood actor and former Miss World has attended the film festival 10 times, but her appearance on the red carpet next week is set to be her most talked about.

The cause of a controversy raging in India lies not with her latest film - Rai is there to promote a cosmetic brand rather than a new movie - but instead, bewilderingly, with recent photographs which suggest that, six months after giving birth to a baby girl, Rai has yet to regain her pre-pregnancy figure."

You can read the report here:

http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/beauty/it-is-her-duty-to-look-good-and-fit-bollywood-star-and-former-miss-world-targeted-over-failure-to-lose-postpregnancy-weight-20120517-1ysg1.html

It's all a bit nuts, yes?

What do you think?

Baby number three - yes or no?

This topic has been on my mind for several weeks, months even.

It's about having baby number three.

It's a funny conversation that usually goes something like this:

Me: "I think I am done. No, I know I am done. The husband is definitely done. But somehow... I don't know... there is a niggling feeling I may want another child. I may want to expand two to three."

Friend: "Really? Are you sure? Then do it! Yes, I know we are all turning 40, but women are having babies later anyway, so you know, you should definitely do it. On the other hand, you know... you have a boy and a girl, so you have the pigeon pair."

It's a strange convo, that plays out in different ways, but always starts and ends the same way. Uncertainty, then clarity.

That is: I am very clear I am done with adding to the family. Two was always the magic number for us. Two boys or two girls, or a boy and a girl. It was always two. But then: I was number three in my family.

And: I never expected to have two in one go, to have twins.

Which meant: one pregnancy, one delivery, one lot of breastfeeding (yep, sometimes at the same time), and one hellish lot (well, two - they'd wake at different times) of getting up in the middle of the night, for hungry babies.

Plus, now that I am experienced with the chaos of two, I want to know what's it's like to attend to one. Enjoy one. Be lost in the joy of caring for just one. [I am fully aware that this is possibly a rose-coloured glasses way of looking at the whooole process again; on the very rare occasion one of my twins wake up when I am about to go to bed exhausted, I remember: oh yes, I haaate my sleep being disturbed!].

I have long said, "One baby...? Pfft... I could do that with my eyes closed now!"

A friend, whose sister has had triplets, said this was probably common among women with multiples.

While we are genuinely, eternally grateful for being blessed with two (or more) in one go and 'getting it all out of the way', apparently many mums of multiples would like to experience what it's all like with a singleton bub.

A [male] friend of mine who is a dad of three recently told me: "EVERYTHING changes when you go from two to three. For us, it meant a bigger car, an extension to the house, more stress, more hard work, worrying about a new person all over again."

That comment alone convinced me [although I did casually add that we had a spare room, and a spare spot in our Kia Carnival] that we were done. Yep, yep... done. Yes, totally positive. [I think... no, I am sure. Sure.]

And so, last night I read with interest a story in this week's Grazia magazine [if you want a copy, be quick - it goes off sale by today's end].

The story, by Sonja Ebbels titled "The Third Parent Trap" not only talks about women wanting to expand their brood to a trio, it also talks about some examples she knows about women secretly falling pregnant to to do this, despite their partners' wishes that two suited them just fine.

"These weren't single women terrified their biological clocks were ticking, but desperate mothers who wanted one more child than their other half was willing to give," writes Sonja.

She adds this alarming statistic: "A UK survey revealed that about 42 percent of women would lie about using contraception in order t get pregnant, in spite of their partners' wishes.

"From the stories I heard, it seemed to come down to one question: what will kill your relationship faster? Living with a lie, and another child, or feeling forever unfulfilled because of your man's lack of compliance?"

It's an incredible take on the whole topic: deceiving your partner into having another baby. Lordy, I would never do that.

So, are you going contemplating having a third child right now? What are your experiences?

Feel free to comment (anon is okay) about your own experiences.

And for more on Grazia, go here: http://grazia.ninemsn.com.au/

The 'Sex Talk' for kids: how soon to start?

A few months ago, I wrote a piece for the Mamamia site.

It centred on how soon to have the 'sex talk' with kids.

After a friend posted on Facebook that her six year old son had asked: "Mummy, I know a baby is made from sperm and an egg but how does the man give the woman his sperm?" I knew I wanted to re-read the piece.

No doubt I will be needing the tips in a year or two.

Here is an excerpt:

First, I started with the big one: the birds and the bees for toddlers. How on earth do I start?

“Give them the language they need to talk about their bodies and about where babies come from.When they are learning the names of body parts, include ‘penis’ and ‘testicles’ (or ‘balls’). With girls, many parents are most comfortable starting with a general “bottom” to indicate the whole nether area, but “vagina’ and/or “vulva” should be added well before starting school. I’d suggest that by age 3½ – or whenever the child is asking questions about the genitals – start using more definite, and correct, words. Both boys and girls need the names for the sex organs of both sexes.”

Gulp. I have been trying to incorporate that into my conversations with my daughter of late. I will admit I do flinch a little when I hear myself say: “Oh, that…? That is your vagina.”

“When your children have the names for penis and vagina – and know where they are located – when the questions start about where babies come from half your work is already done,” adds Dr Gelin, who suggests intro-ing that topic by the time they’re in first grade if they haven’t already done so. Although it’s very likely that by then they’d probably have talked about their penis while with you in the bank queue. When it’s quiet. Adding that they think they’ve just peed their pants. And as your face burns, you try desperately to ignore the muffled laughter.'

You can read the rest of my story here: http://www.mamamia.com.au/parenting/kids-and-sex-when-is-the-right-time-to-have-the-talk/

Question is: when do you think is the right age for the sex talk? And what will you say?

Share!

Karitane and Tresillian - Parental Presence... the 'new way' to settle a baby

Controlled crying? Parental presence? Co-sleeping?

Which way to go to settle a baby?

If you're already a mum, which way worked for you?

For my husband and I, it was mostly a bit of a blur settling our baby twins, but I do know that we held sacred one thing, and one thing only: routine. Oh, and teamwork. Okay, that's two.

Another thing is certain: newborns cry. And cry. And bawl. And scream. In a pitch you've never heard. And in a way that grates and distresses and upsets you like nothing you've ever experienced.

And sometimes, babies just can't indicate what is wrong with them despite what experts tell you, encouraging you to look out for the kind of cry they have, or a look on their face. In the midst of a monster bawl (yours and theirs), you are often too distressed to look for 'the signs.'

You may be well-prepped, fully read-up, and watched all the DVDs you can get your hands on, but sometimes... they just... Scream. LOUDLY. And no theory will work. And then... it passes.

The people you'd most likely turn to are your mum, sister, best mummy friend, early childhood nurse, books, DVDs, websites, and other real-time help from the sensational organisations Karitane and Tresillian.

According to a newspaper article, these two parent-support organisations have abandoned their stance of controlled crying to settle a baby, and instead have adopted a new view on how to settle a bub, called "parental presence" which involves setting up a bed in the baby's room, and making a gesture or coughing so they know you are there, and they go back to sleep.

You can read the article here:

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/mother-of-a-debate-of-how-to-get-baby-asleep/story-e6freuy9-1226212942377

For us, we had two bassinettes in our room until they were almost six months. They then moved to their cots in another room. I could not do controlled crying... it just did not appeal to me at all.

Whilst I did not leap up every time they cried, as I wanted them to try and learn how to self-soothe, I certainly could not leave them to be distressed for more than a few minutes.

What worked for you? Or, if you are pregnant, what will you do?

Feel free to comment.

Women CEOs need nannies and housekeepers, says Ita Buttrose

According to publishing maven Ita Buttrose women should demand nannies and housekeepers as part of their salary package to keep their careers on track.

In an article for www.news.com.au She believes that if Australia adopted more of a nanny culture it would help women remain in work, further climb up that corporate ladder and score that chief exec role.

You can read the rest here:

http://www.news.com.au/business/women-ceos-need-nannies-not-cars/story-e6frfm1i-1226213318097

What do you think?

We are talking high-level CEOs here: should they not be thwarted in their attempt to continue their careers, instead encouraged and assisted with packages that include hired help? Or should they abandon all ambitions and embrace motherhood wholeheartedly?

Feel free to comment.

How soon to go back to work post-baby? Roxy Jacenko weighs in.

How soon did you go back to work after having a baby?

Six months? One year? Three weeks? Haven't gone back?

How about three hours?

That's how soon Sydney publicist Roxy Jacenko went back to work after having a baby.

No, she didn't escape from the hospital, making a run for it in the middle of the night from the maternity ward, but she did switch on her BlackBerry just three hours after the birth of her first child, daughter Pixie-Rose.

She told her story to Grazia magazine.

In the article, she says she knows some people will judge her for taking micro-maternity leave, but she doesn't feel guilty in the slightest. Nor will she apologise.

Read it here:

http://grazia.ninemsn.com.au/blog.aspx?blogentryid=948795&showcomments=true

What did you think?

Can you relate?

Or is your experience entirely different? Feel free to comment (I know we mums get very passionate, so no personal attacks, please).

Me? Well, I underestimated just how soon I wanted to engage in work again.

After giving birth to twins almost four years ago, I did some work from home - when my babies were just three weeks old.

Looking back now, sure... it was probably a little mad.

It wasn't a huge job - some subbing work, which I always really enjoy - but I was so severely sleep-deprived you'd think all I was interested in was catching some zzz's.

Nope. And it wasn't about the money, either.

It was about retaining some of my old life. A life I'd worked so hard for. Went to uni for, toiled my way up that corporate ladder. I just knew that if I didn't keep working in some capacity, I would not only lose my groove, I'd lose touch with my industry, and most of all, lose confidence in myself and my abilities.

I was - and am - fortunate enough to be able to work from home and that is wonderful for myriad reasons.

Not battling traffic, no need to coordinate an outfit, no need to wash my hair, even. I dare say I am also more productive (no water cooler conversations, no long lunches).

The downside? Working all hours. Juggling an email with a dirty nappy, or a roast I need to turn. Missing out on the co-worker camaraderie. Never switching off.

And while I did say it wasn't about the money (I didn't want to earn bucket-loads of cash so I could surround myself with material things I didn't actually need) it was more about the freedom that the money represented.

As a non-earner for a mere few weeks I felt a slight 'power shift' in the home... and I really didn't like it.

Before even meeting my husband, I was a woman who looked after myself financially, big-time. I paid all my uni fees upfront with my part-time job, bought my cars, set myself up financially, always thought about my financial future.

While I have never gone back to structured full-time work, trust me when I say I work full-time. It never stops. My workload never. Ever. Ends.

What has been your experience of going back to work?

Did you resent going back so soon because, financially, you had to?

Or are you in the midst of prepping to go back shortly?

And how soon is too soon?

Share your experience here!

(Photo of Roxy Jacenko by Andy Baker).

Diarrhea = daycare day off?

So, this post is not so much about twins - well, it is in my case - but it is certainly about siblings.

Yesterday my twins were at daycare, and throughout the day, Estella did two diarrheas.

I know, gross. TMI.

But, it's completely relevant to my story.

So, the daycare called me at 5pm and advised me she'd just done her second liquid poop [vom] and Estella would not be allowed to attend daycare the next day. Oh, and I still pay for her day's stay there.

Now, I have had an issue with this before. Up until recently I had no idea that a diarrhea, a vomit, or a fever one day meant that the child was banned from daycare the next day.

So, if you get a call from the daycare saying your child has a 38.2 fever today, you leave work, look after them (fair call), then if they get better that evening, you still need to quarantine them and take another day off work.

This does not sit right with me.

In my case, it means taking one twin to daycare as per usual and taking the other one home. And taking a day off work.

If you're a childcare worker please feel free to put me in my place.

I get the 'stop the spread of germs' things... but what if the child is no longer ill?

I was spewing - pardon jargon-esque pun - because today was 'bandanna day' at daycare and Estella has missed out. And there is nothing wrong with her. She hasn't done a soft poop since yesterday.

So, what's your take?

Is the childcare centre being too hardline in their approach? Should I just 'suck it up' and understand it all comes with the territory of being a parent?

Comment, share your own stories.

Have you been torn between twins/siblings on sick days?