The 'Sex Talk' for kids: how soon to start?

A few months ago, I wrote a piece for the Mamamia site.

It centred on how soon to have the 'sex talk' with kids.

After a friend posted on Facebook that her six year old son had asked: "Mummy, I know a baby is made from sperm and an egg but how does the man give the woman his sperm?" I knew I wanted to re-read the piece.

No doubt I will be needing the tips in a year or two.

Here is an excerpt:

First, I started with the big one: the birds and the bees for toddlers. How on earth do I start?

“Give them the language they need to talk about their bodies and about where babies come from.When they are learning the names of body parts, include ‘penis’ and ‘testicles’ (or ‘balls’). With girls, many parents are most comfortable starting with a general “bottom” to indicate the whole nether area, but “vagina’ and/or “vulva” should be added well before starting school. I’d suggest that by age 3½ – or whenever the child is asking questions about the genitals – start using more definite, and correct, words. Both boys and girls need the names for the sex organs of both sexes.”

Gulp. I have been trying to incorporate that into my conversations with my daughter of late. I will admit I do flinch a little when I hear myself say: “Oh, that…? That is your vagina.”

“When your children have the names for penis and vagina – and know where they are located – when the questions start about where babies come from half your work is already done,” adds Dr Gelin, who suggests intro-ing that topic by the time they’re in first grade if they haven’t already done so. Although it’s very likely that by then they’d probably have talked about their penis while with you in the bank queue. When it’s quiet. Adding that they think they’ve just peed their pants. And as your face burns, you try desperately to ignore the muffled laughter.'

You can read the rest of my story here: http://www.mamamia.com.au/parenting/kids-and-sex-when-is-the-right-time-to-have-the-talk/

Question is: when do you think is the right age for the sex talk? And what will you say?

Share!

Dumping kids at play centres - the new 'babysitting trend'

My mouth is agape here... are parents really doing this?

Leaving kids unattended at leisure and play centres and taking off to, I don't know, run errands, see a doctor, get nails done, have a latte?

The Herald Sun has reported that child safety commissioner Bernie Geary is 'condemning' parents for dumping kids at these venues and doing the Harry Holt (the bolt, a runner).

"It is dangerous to children and disrespectful to the people who run these facilities," says Geary.

The Herald Sun reports this is the result of parents wanting to avoid daycare costs. I think it is in fact parents having no alternative on a day they have "stuff to do" and in a moment of desperation [and complete madness] they leave them at a place where they think nobody will notice, and their kids will blend into the crowd.

I try and 'do parenting' with the following credo - never say never. That is, I try to never start a smug parenting statement with: "I would never do that to my child", because chances are, things change and maybe I will.

In this instance, I can categorically say that "I would never do that."

Seriously? Leaving kids anywhere unattended? Complete madness.

Have you heard of someone pulling this? Go on, spill.

To read more, go here:

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/opinion/editorials/dont-dump-kids-in-the-deep-end/story-e6frfhqo-1226246802237

Jay-Z's song for Blue Ivy Carter, "Glory"

Have you heard the new song "Glory" penned by Jay-Z for his newborn baby girl Blue Ivy Carter?

It's rather sweet, cute, and full of emotion; even l'il Blue features, having a cry at around 3.20 mark. Listen:

The couple have just released a statement to US Weekly magazine:

Hello Hello Baby Blue! We are happy to announce the arrival of our beautiful daughter, Blue Ivy Carter, born on Saturday, January 7, 2012. Her birth was emotional and extremely peaceful, we are in heaven.

“She was delivered naturally at a healthy 7lbs and it was the best experience of both our lives. We are thankful to everyone for all your prayers, well wishes, love and support.”

In the song "Glory" Jay-Z reveals his wife Beyonce had suffered miscarriage, with the lyrics:

"Last time the miscarriage was so tragic, was we was afraid you disappeared."

Adding: "...All the pain of the last time, prayed so hard it was the last time."

He also reveals where the bub was conceived:

"You don't yet know what swag is, but you was made in Paris, and mama woke up the next day and mama woke up the next day and shot her album package."

Which kinda made me think: who else has penned a song for their new baby?

Well, there is this one from Fugees singer Lauryn Hill, for her son Zion:

And of course this classic 'Isn't She Lovely' from Stevie Wonder for his newborn baby girl:

And this one from John Lennon called 'Beautiful Boy':

This one, too, by James Taylor called 'Sweet Baby James':

What are your faves? Any I have missed?

Up All Night - a real look at motherhood and work. With added laughs.

One look at this trailer and I am SO sold.

Okay, so it's a comical TV show, but I love that it's a look at motherhood - especially when juggling work and a newborn - that's far more real than any Huggies advertisement.

The baby wipes scene, the "we are trying to help you", the severe sleep deprivation = getting completely narky at each other. Love.

Here is the trailer again with added commentary.

How funny is Maya Rudolph!

What are your thoughts? Accurate rep of mother-slash-work life?

Stay tuned for details on the Australian screen date.


UPDATED: Australian screen date is Monday July 23 on Channel 7, at 9.30pm, and every Monday at 9.30pm.

Karitane and Tresillian - Parental Presence... the 'new way' to settle a baby

Controlled crying? Parental presence? Co-sleeping?

Which way to go to settle a baby?

If you're already a mum, which way worked for you?

For my husband and I, it was mostly a bit of a blur settling our baby twins, but I do know that we held sacred one thing, and one thing only: routine. Oh, and teamwork. Okay, that's two.

Another thing is certain: newborns cry. And cry. And bawl. And scream. In a pitch you've never heard. And in a way that grates and distresses and upsets you like nothing you've ever experienced.

And sometimes, babies just can't indicate what is wrong with them despite what experts tell you, encouraging you to look out for the kind of cry they have, or a look on their face. In the midst of a monster bawl (yours and theirs), you are often too distressed to look for 'the signs.'

You may be well-prepped, fully read-up, and watched all the DVDs you can get your hands on, but sometimes... they just... Scream. LOUDLY. And no theory will work. And then... it passes.

The people you'd most likely turn to are your mum, sister, best mummy friend, early childhood nurse, books, DVDs, websites, and other real-time help from the sensational organisations Karitane and Tresillian.

According to a newspaper article, these two parent-support organisations have abandoned their stance of controlled crying to settle a baby, and instead have adopted a new view on how to settle a bub, called "parental presence" which involves setting up a bed in the baby's room, and making a gesture or coughing so they know you are there, and they go back to sleep.

You can read the article here:

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/mother-of-a-debate-of-how-to-get-baby-asleep/story-e6freuy9-1226212942377

For us, we had two bassinettes in our room until they were almost six months. They then moved to their cots in another room. I could not do controlled crying... it just did not appeal to me at all.

Whilst I did not leap up every time they cried, as I wanted them to try and learn how to self-soothe, I certainly could not leave them to be distressed for more than a few minutes.

What worked for you? Or, if you are pregnant, what will you do?

Feel free to comment.

Women CEOs need nannies and housekeepers, says Ita Buttrose

According to publishing maven Ita Buttrose women should demand nannies and housekeepers as part of their salary package to keep their careers on track.

In an article for www.news.com.au She believes that if Australia adopted more of a nanny culture it would help women remain in work, further climb up that corporate ladder and score that chief exec role.

You can read the rest here:

http://www.news.com.au/business/women-ceos-need-nannies-not-cars/story-e6frfm1i-1226213318097

What do you think?

We are talking high-level CEOs here: should they not be thwarted in their attempt to continue their careers, instead encouraged and assisted with packages that include hired help? Or should they abandon all ambitions and embrace motherhood wholeheartedly?

Feel free to comment.

How soon to go back to work post-baby? Roxy Jacenko weighs in.

How soon did you go back to work after having a baby?

Six months? One year? Three weeks? Haven't gone back?

How about three hours?

That's how soon Sydney publicist Roxy Jacenko went back to work after having a baby.

No, she didn't escape from the hospital, making a run for it in the middle of the night from the maternity ward, but she did switch on her BlackBerry just three hours after the birth of her first child, daughter Pixie-Rose.

She told her story to Grazia magazine.

In the article, she says she knows some people will judge her for taking micro-maternity leave, but she doesn't feel guilty in the slightest. Nor will she apologise.

Read it here:

http://grazia.ninemsn.com.au/blog.aspx?blogentryid=948795&showcomments=true

What did you think?

Can you relate?

Or is your experience entirely different? Feel free to comment (I know we mums get very passionate, so no personal attacks, please).

Me? Well, I underestimated just how soon I wanted to engage in work again.

After giving birth to twins almost four years ago, I did some work from home - when my babies were just three weeks old.

Looking back now, sure... it was probably a little mad.

It wasn't a huge job - some subbing work, which I always really enjoy - but I was so severely sleep-deprived you'd think all I was interested in was catching some zzz's.

Nope. And it wasn't about the money, either.

It was about retaining some of my old life. A life I'd worked so hard for. Went to uni for, toiled my way up that corporate ladder. I just knew that if I didn't keep working in some capacity, I would not only lose my groove, I'd lose touch with my industry, and most of all, lose confidence in myself and my abilities.

I was - and am - fortunate enough to be able to work from home and that is wonderful for myriad reasons.

Not battling traffic, no need to coordinate an outfit, no need to wash my hair, even. I dare say I am also more productive (no water cooler conversations, no long lunches).

The downside? Working all hours. Juggling an email with a dirty nappy, or a roast I need to turn. Missing out on the co-worker camaraderie. Never switching off.

And while I did say it wasn't about the money (I didn't want to earn bucket-loads of cash so I could surround myself with material things I didn't actually need) it was more about the freedom that the money represented.

As a non-earner for a mere few weeks I felt a slight 'power shift' in the home... and I really didn't like it.

Before even meeting my husband, I was a woman who looked after myself financially, big-time. I paid all my uni fees upfront with my part-time job, bought my cars, set myself up financially, always thought about my financial future.

While I have never gone back to structured full-time work, trust me when I say I work full-time. It never stops. My workload never. Ever. Ends.

What has been your experience of going back to work?

Did you resent going back so soon because, financially, you had to?

Or are you in the midst of prepping to go back shortly?

And how soon is too soon?

Share your experience here!

(Photo of Roxy Jacenko by Andy Baker).